I turn 43 this week. That is WILD to me. I truly never expected to live this long. If you are not a trauma survivor, I’m sure that statement strikes you as dramatic. It’s also true. I didn’t start to truly live until I healed enough that I stopped expecting to die. (Fellow trauma survivors: that was only, maybe, 8 years ago. You are by no means behind!).
I’m one of the lucky ones. It shouldn’t come down to luck, but much of what we are talking about when we talk about privilege is the accessibility of recovery tools. Health insurance has always covered my therapies (CBT, psychotherapy, talk therapy, etc). I have always been able to find a therapist I could connect with. Without these options I’m quite certain where I would have ended up: the same place I feared/expected to end up. There but for the Grace of God go I.
At 43, I’m not doing any of the things I planned to be doing when I was 6 (taxi cab driver in NYC), 16 (pediatric cardiologist), 26 (investment banker) or 36 (entrepreneur). Honestly, I think that, too, is a function of healing. Where I have landed is a place I didn’t think existed: privileged enough to speak and by heard. That is to say, I feel safe to speak. That is a function of privilege and nothing more- most survivors will never feel the safety I do, enjoy the support I do, or access the tools I use.
This isn’t the world I want to live in. Rather than leave, I want to use my birthday to ask you look at ways you can make a difference in your own communities, and take active steps towards building the world our children deserve. Bear in mind: every adult needing help now is a trauma survivor who wasn't born with privileges like a stable, loving family, health insurance or health care, or a safe place to sleep.
Donate $43 (or whatever you can) to a local mutual aid organization. It likely won’t be tax deductible, but those funds will go to work immediately. If you are in Denver, please become a patron of MNMA (https://www.patreon.com/MutualAidMondayDen). Monday Night Mutual Aid will be my proudest accomplishment, as well as my friendship with Kelsang Virya and Jess Wiederholt, the most selfless and fearless woman I know. You can follow on FB and Twitter @aidMonday and read more about MNMA here: https://saltmag.online/2021/03/15/it-takes-a-village-to-raise-a-city-the-mutual-aid-revolution-in-denver/
Give 43 minutes of your time to a local mutual aid organization. This is an incredible opportunity to see your community up close and learn about the cracks in the system that create these issues, from the needles near your kids’ school to the unhoused camps in your local parks. I promise, these organizations need the help and you won’t truly understand the complexity of these very human issues until you pitch in.
Find out when your City Council meets, and make yourself watch 43 minutes of one of those meetings. The decisions made there impact your daily life more than anything a sitting President can do. In Denver these are Monday Night, and they can be accessed in person, via livestream or on local television. You have a voice. This is THE most powerful place you can possibly use it, the lever of power most accessible to you as a voting taxpaying US Citizen, and it’s wildly underutilized. I didn’t really understand my city until I started working with mutual aid organizations and then started yelling at City Council to make the changes this city needs to make.
I realize this is a big ask, please understand I do not want anyone to feel ashamed. I just want you to be aware of your community in a way I was not even 3 years ago. You have more power than you think you do, and your voice can be louder than mine and do more good than mine ever will. On my birthday, I want to challenge you to use it!
Please, in the comments below, tag a mutual aid organization wherever you are, as well as a City Council member who is working on the changes you want to see in your community. (If you aren’t aware of one, get to Googling please!) and If you’d rather not do any of it, COOL please just give whatever you can to MNMA.
*posted to MK's personal FB page by the FPP Marketing team, as MK is on a mandated FB hiatus until further notice.